melog-20101126.log

well, the fun-ness of thanksgiving seems to be waning away. my wife seems to be self-loathing again. she's found someone to style her hair today. hair is a very big issue and a very sensitive topic for many african-american women. keeping hair healthy often means keeping it natural-- avoid perms, hair coloring, wearing braids for extended periods of time. but, the natural look is very difficult to maintain and keep attractive in the eyes of many men. but if you do decide to perm and do all the other things i just mentioned, people accuse you of abandoning your african roots, hair becomes damaged and unhealthy and starts to literally shed and fall out over time, and then you have to resort to things like wigs, hair weave, and wearing braids for an extended period of time.

and other women, too, who seem to be their toughest critics at times.

so then, this becomes quite a vicious cycle.

i hope she comes back happy, and not disappointed. to come back disappointed is really to say she'll come back depressed and totally defeated. i think she was already like that when she left. so, i hope things don't get any worse for her. i hate to see her struggle with this difficulties. they are so painful for her.

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i'm trying really hard to get my finances in better shape. it seems that the harder i try, the harder it is to get things in a better condition. i've taken care of one debt that's been haunting me. now i'm trying to get to the next biggest one, but it's hard to even pay on it when you're bleeding out money in all the other places.

the holidays are a mixed bag of family-fun, memory making, nostalgia, and money hemorrhaging.

i wish i could have a holiday season where i didn't have to spend anything extra.

but that might mean not having a family. so . . . i guess i had better keep my mouth shut and stop complaining.

time to go visit momma. didn't see her yesterday and she didn't want to come by our house for thanksgiving dinner. so, i guess i go see her and take "the grandkids" with so they can see her, too. since she cooked, i'll have some of her food today, and maybe take some of ours for her to sample, too.