melog-20101130.log.3

momma made a chicken casserole. so, no need to visit kfc or popeye's.

she also made a sweet potato pie. not as good as chess, but i'll take her sweet potato pie over "no pie" any day of the week.

we bought a pumpkin pie for thanksgiving. only one slice was ever eaten from that pie.

yuck.

i called a plumber this evening. see . . . i rented out my first house to someone after moving to my current dwelling. the temp is dropping in my region. so, the tenant will decided to turn on his heat-- except that the gas meter was removed from the house from being vacant for so long. so, i have to get a new gas utility permit issued in order to have the gas turned on.

neither i nor the tenant knew this was necessary until a few months ago. i tried to get the gas turned back on, but my first attempt was a fiasco:

first, you have to apply for a house inspection. never mind that the house already had a successful inspection in order to have the the electricity turned on. oh, and that costs about $40.00.

*bing*

next, you have to get a licensed plumber to do a gas test and check to see if your house is up to code. $350.00.

*badda-bing*


then, if you're an ignorant poor soul like myself, you'll miss half a day of work to wait around for a terse city inspector who will come to your rental property and fail your inspection because your plumber did less than half-ass work and gave you the shaft.

*CHA-CHING*


that's some expensive shit, especially since i can get shit for free if i ever needed some.

well, a former neighbor who lives near my rental property is a plumber. i had forgotten about that fellow. he helped me out in the past. i got back in contact with him and he told me that a good plumber would have met the inspector for me and would have checked for everything that was not up to code before applying for an inspection.

simply put, i'd been had.

and i finally figured it out after waisting so much money and time. i was very, very pissed about this event a few weeks ago. the plumber tried to contact me to "fix the problems" missed in the inspection. but, they were only going to charge me even more.

tomorrow, i'll meet my former neighbor. he'll do a walk though with me and show me everything that needs to be brought up to city code. then, we'll go to the hardware store. then, i'll pay him for his labor after the work is done.

then, he will meet the inspector for me (so i don't have to miss work-- as it should have been) and let me know if there was a pass or fail. if it fails, the problem is on him. if it passes, then we all walk away happy and my tenant gets heat.

then, the tenant will cuss when he gets his gas bill next month.

hope it all works out. i gotta check with my supervisor and see if he's ok with me taking tomorrow off at short notice. usually they have no problems with it. but, it's best to ask as soon as possible.

after i do that, i gotta get my kids cleaned up and in the bed.

when it's all quiet, i think i'll watch my star trek dvd, or maybe finish up watch carl sagan's cosmos series.

a bowl of cocoa covered ice cream might be in my future, too.

mmmmmmmmm . . . .

melog-20101130.log.2

wow. listening to music really helps the work day go by faster.

listen to "roll out" by ludacris a couple of times and you're ready to take on just about anything at work.

well, work is basically over. time for me to be leaving.

i had to use my lunch break to take the kids to my mom's. now i gotta go pick 'em up-- along with dinner. yeah, you guessed it, my wife works late tonight. i think either popeye or "the colonel" will be cooking us dinner tonight.

////////

uh-oh . . . i see an error in my melog below:

Nov 30 17:30:46 uruk smartd[9323]: Device: /dev/mybrother'sbrain, 2 Offline uncorrectable sectors

what does that error mean above? i'll expound upon it below . . .

my knuckle-headed brother wrote me a letter asking me to "invest" some of his money in a money making scheme. he wants me to purchase a money order (or several, if you can't purchase one that big) for a substantial amount of money and mail it to a stranger's residence that neither of us knows! This is supposed to be an "investment" towards some business venture.

what the hell?

worse, he even predicted in his letter that i would think to myself while reading it: what the hell?

i hate to treat him like a child over his own savings. but, i will feel guilty letting him piss away what little bit of savings he has left on bullshit.

he needs to clear his debt and make wise investments. that's my goal as his trustee. but he's starting to ask me to do these little things here and there that will totally bleed him dry if this becomes habit.

arrrrgggghhhh!!!!

it's like some switch went off in his brain and now he's turning into a replica of our dad.

shit . . . i hope that switch doesn't change from a 0 to a 1 inside of my brain! is this some hidden code just ticking away like a time bomb or something?? is 40 years old the activation date?!

looks like i've got a nasty emergency maintenance job that i'll have to do: talking some sense into my elder brother. this is wrong. this shit should be the other way around. he should be talking sense into me-- they way it used to be.

what gives? what the hell?

melog-20101130.log.1

i'm sleepy. stayed up too late eating ice cream.

eating ramen noodles and chocolate covered zingers for lunch doesn't help much in the way of staying awake, either.

ok, gotta shake it off and get back to work . . .

melog-20101130.log

well, that tornado didn't touch down in my monkey sphere, so i guess we're all ok for now. let's just hope that one doesn't swoop us away in our sleep. that happened to a subdivision once. it was a very sad event to learn about. many people died in their sleep.

maybe that's why i'm still awake.

still lots of rain. the lightning is getting very bright at times and the thunder explodes loudly.

then, the rain subsides and you only hear wind chimes.

i'm eating a midnight snack. i'm having a bowl of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with powdered cocoa. i talked to my wife for a good while before fixing the ice cream and doing the dishes. we talked about her history class. she talked about how her professor stated that voltaire's way of thinking was a distant cause of the rise of the nazi party.

hmmmm . . . .

we talked a good while about all that was implied by such a statement.

i think i'll post a more detailed opinion on my original blog, "my dirty little secret" later this week. this idea has been on my mind for months. but, i don't feel like hashing out my opinions about all that here and now.

after all, i should be asleep already.

but, it's hard to turn down good conversation with an especially cute woman donning a gorgeous, most fabulous $185 hairdo.

that's not sarcasm, by the way.

i didn't eat any of the left over pizza. turns out, my nephew came to the kitchen and ate the rest of it anyhow. so, i think he would have honestly been a bit disappointed.

i've been in the closet for a while now about distancing myself from the christian faith. but, it's been a bit hard to stay in the closet inside my own house with my nephew staying for an extended period.

his brother (my other nephew) seems quite agnostic about god. i find that very interesting.

i assumed the same for the nephew hanging out with us. but, on his first night here he said that he was hoping he'd get the job he was looking for. he was doubtful until he saw a commercial where an african-american barber was cutting a caucasian's hair. just after the commercial went off, his phone ran. the barber shop where he applied was informing him that he had the job.

he then said, "if i didn't believe in god before, i sure do believe in him now".

"that's interesting . . ." i replied. i cringed inside myself, hoping my son wouldn't say something critical. he's rather out spoken about his feelings sometimes. but this time, he was quiet.

so . . . i just left it at that. what can i say? i wasn't there.

my daughter asked me earlier today about who made the world. she wanted to know who or what was responsible for all of it's beauty.

i told her that i didn't know for sure.

then i asked her what she thought.

she said, "well, it wasn't god. mommy told me he wasn't real".

hmmmm . . . i wasn't expecting that answer.

i asked her, "well, that's what mommy thinks. what do you think?"

see, i want my children to think for themselves-- even if that means she ends up believing in god. that goes for my son, too.

i'm not going to blatantly talk her into believe in god, but i want to generate something in her where she thinks for herself. telling her flatly that god doesn't exist is too me just the same as telling a child flatly that jesus is lord.

i don't want to give my children atheism. i want to give them freethinking. then, their freethinking can guide them along the way.

well, enough journaling for now. better get some sleep.

my back hurts when i try to sleep at night. not as bad as before, but i toss and turn a bit.

and my back hurts in the chair at work. this wasn't always so. my chair used to be quite comfortable and seemed so ergonomic.

i'll take a goody powder. maybe that will help me sleep a bit better.

i'll save my whiskey for the weekend.

melog-20101129.log.2

weather is getting a bit unstable across our region. a tornado warning siren went off a while ago. odd, though . . . the weather seemed so serene at the time the siren began to howl.

maybe that was the quiet before the storm.

well, nothing serious has happened in my neighborhood since the alarm sounded. it rains, then stops. thunder peals softly, and the wind blows, then it becomes calm again.

but, the meteorologists are all going nuts. sometimes you think they enjoy bad weather-- as if that's where the action is.

but, there is damage in places across our state. just not where i live at the moment. it seems it all keeps going around my neck of the woods so far.

i discussed the situation of my brother with a mutual friend. he's about the only person who knows as much detail as i do about the his case. details that i've had to cobble together because i think my brother (out of shame) has kept me in the dark about the true, nitty-grittiness of his case. but, now he asks us if we can help him find new counsel.

i don't think we're equipped to do that. but maybe we can. hard to make a decision like that and help him out when we don't know ourselves what his true situation is.

anyhow . . .

we'll see what we can do.

*sigh*

well, my wife made it home. her professor let them leave a wee bit early because of the weather.

my nephew brought home two slices of left over little caesar's.

pizza! pizza!

little caesar's one toping isn't necessarily the best, but it's sure the most bang for you buck! five dollars can get you a large one topping. eight dollars can get you a triple meat pizza that tastes just as good as any other national pizza chain.

ooops, here's the siren again. guess i better hit the hallway.

although, it's still really quiet outside-- minus the siren and the howling dogs.

maybe this is the quite before the storm-- like last time.

melog-20101129.log.1

well, the person at the book store mislead me by telling me they had the book we were looking for. they only had copies available for "institutional" use.

the book isn't on line anywhere that i can tell. just a few samples on google books.

and, my son's friend doesn't have the same assignments. we went to see if maybe he brought the book home, but nope . . . that wasn't our luck.

we had corn dogs for dinner. you know, the ones they wouldn't eat yesterday.

you guessed it. my wife is in class tonight. so, i'm the cook.

my daughter is really, really clingy tonight. it was really sweet at first, but now, i want to just pick her up and set her down somewhere. i had to escape just for a moment.

my son is calling. i guess he's finally realized that the sample in google books just won't cut it.

nothing i can do. poor kid should have remember to bring home his book maybe next time he'll remember after missing some time from recess or something.

hey, he'll live. in the grand scheme of things, this will probably be a quiet insignificant moment in his life.

melog-20101129.log.0

my son left a book at school that he requires to complete his homework.

i wanted to avoid the rain, but looks like we've got to get out in it so that i can get him this book that he says desperately needs.

oh well . . .

i'm making him pay for it out of his savings, since he has a copy of it at school already.

i check the local libraries. no luck. so . . . heading to the book store. i called ahead. they have several copies.

i'll let him off the hook with the air mattress. but i told him that if he puts another hole in this new one i bought, he's paying me double before out of his allowance before i let him earn any more money again.

these are some pricey mistakes he's been making lately. hope he wises up a bit.

melog-20101129.log

sometimes i get the good fortune of working from home. i worked most of my workday at the office. i'm taking a late lunch which is basically over at this point. i'll start finishing out the balance of my work day from home. i can't do this often, though. so, this isn't the norm-- unfortunately.

my wife builds websites as a side job. someone saw one of her sites and thought they were professional looking and want to know if she'll set one up for her. she feels good about herself when she hears things like that. i'm glad someone spoke well of her sites. she is a good layout designer and has an eye for good advertising and logo design. and of course, she's really good with color coordination. so, don't judge her skills by any of my blogs. she doesn't really help me with any of them. *joke* i guess i don't get complementary service just for being her hubby. i gotta take a number and pay her for her services, too, just like anybody else. */joke*

well, gotta log off of here and get back to work. i'm at home because the weather will probably become inclement and staying at home will increase my chances of staying out of the looming meteorological mess that may come our way.

melog-20101128.log.1

my niece has been traded out with my nephew. he's inflating his new air mattress that i had to replace due to my son's mischief or carelessness. not quite sure which.

now he's going to cut my son's hair. i guess i'm next.

i've been doing a lot of laundry.

i hate laundry. but, i like having clean clothes. so . . . hmmmm . . .

listening to my mp3 player makes it go much better.

i made a play list of 175 songs that i really enjoy. i just put it on shuffle repeat and the worst chores become noticeably easier.

i've got a lot of songs my jimi hendrix, björk, metallica, st. vincent (annie clark), living colour, regina spektor, and many others. i've got metal, rock, blues, classical, show tunes, hip-hop, r&b, soul, alternative, motown, and so on.

i don't think i have any country, though. while, i've heard some country songs that i like, i just don't gravitate to the country music genera as a whole.

i'm really not looking forward to going to work. but, i guess it's time to get ready. need to get some sleep tonight to be ready for tomorrow.

i stayed up late for most of the days on our holiday vacation. i've gotta get out of that habit.

for example, i stayed up until about 04:00 this morning watching afro samurai. the voicing was dubbed by samuel l. jackson. nobody can talk shit like him. fun series to watch.

i hear it has a sequel / tv movie. i might check it out later this week.

well, i had probably head back to doing more laundry now and get the kids ready for bed.

one thing, though, that i wanted to get off my chest is that my brother finally admits that he needs new counsel. fine time to realize that. he want's to do his appeal over again with a different legal team.

hmmmmm . . . . i dunno. i'll honor his request and try to hunt down someone that might do a better job with his case. i do think his counsel was less than thorough.

found out that the mystery check is the insurance claim for his car. we drive his car sometimes. someone hit my wife from behind while she was driving in traffic. so, that's the meaning of the mystery check he received.

whew! i though some funky scam was going on somewhere.

melog-20101128.log.0

well, after eating mc donald's, the kids went back into a frenzy of play-- running though the house.

and then, my son's neighborhood friend rang the door bell.

so now, i had four kids running though the house. i'm turning into daddy daycare, here.

then, my son finally decides to go down to his friend's house.

but, that alienated my daughter and niece.

my niece wanted to leave my poor little daughter high and dry and go down the street, too.

but, i told my niece to stay with my daughter and i'd let them play on the computer.

as a matter of fact, i hear my some coming back now . . . without his friend. i wonder how long that will last.

not long. here he comes, now.

i found out that my nephew spent the night at his mom's house. when his mom comes to pick up our niece, she'll drop him off here. apparently, he didn't have to work today, so he went back to, as he called it once, "the original crib".

my wife called and is picking up some grocery items to bring home. the kids will be hungry later, for sure.

my son is wanting to preserve his cake, and eat it, too. he wants to kick the girls off of the computer now that he's back at the house. i told him to let them stay on the computer. he can play something else with his friend.

he started to have a sulky look on his face. i reminded him that he has a lot of options-- xbox, nintendo, going back down the street. all of that as opposed to sitting on the couch in silence after i send his friend home because he's displaying a poor attitude.

now i hear them playing again. i guess he talked the group into playing something together. i suspect he'll jump onto the computer getting them all distracted. he's a crafty one sometimes, my son.

well, gotta get some laundry done. work and school will be waiting for us all tomorrow. vacation time is over.

still gotta get around to giving my daughter a bath.

melog-20101128.log

my wife went to church today. she took my mom for me. she wanted to show off her hair. she asked me if that was a bad reason. i told her that i couldn't really think of any good reason to go, so it probably doesn't matter much.

my nephew never came home last night. but his stuff is still here. he went to work as far as i know yesterday. his sister is over her still because she spent the night. so, i've got the kids again.

i hope he's ok. i suspect he's found the company of one of his girlfriends or stayed out with a buddy. or, maybe went out of town with his mom-- after all, that is part of the reason why his sister spent the night with us.

i'm not thinking the worst at this point. but, i would like to hear from him. he's a grown man. but, he's not invulnerable. i don't really care so much what he does as long as he's safe and isn't getting into any serious trouble.

well, the kids ask for hotdogs. i only have corndogs. they don't want corndogs.

what?? i'll even eat a corndog, but i don't like hotdogs.

so, we're getting ready to go through the drive-thru of the nearest mc donald's and bringing it back here to the house.

after that, i'm giving my daughter a bath. when my wife gets home, i'm going to try to really go hang out somewhere. i didn't go anywhere last night like i intended to. i told her i was thinking about going out of the house for some quiet. my wife found a way to quiet them down, and seemed like she really wanted me to stay home.

but this time, i think i'll go regardless. i think i'll hang out at the bookstore or something.

they kids are running though the house again with their toy guns. i don't mind it, except that it's just so loud. well, i'm glad they're having fun at least.

just don't break any of my stuff, and most of all-- don't break anything like your finger, arm, leg, or head!

melog-20101127.log.2

i gotta get outta here. they've taken over everything. they've taken over my pandora station and playing it really loudly over the tv. i can't listen to anything i wanna hear.

they're begging me for food and i can't think.

my wife is back there in the bed room somewhere.

i think it's time i go somewhere for a change.

time to wash up and go out somewhere for about an hour or something.

melog-20101127.log.1

wow. now my niece is spending the night tonight. she's my nephew's brother.

my sister-in-law is giving away all her kids to us, i think.

so, now I've got six people sleeping here tonight in a three bedroom house.

it's so loud right now. three kids with toy guns, running through the house blowing each other away.

shirking, yelling, laughing, running, stomping . . .

so much for listening to my mp3 player.

my wife brought home our extra visitor after staying at her mom's house all day. she brought home a slice of cake as a peace offering.

somehow, i suspect i got the short end of the stick, here.

ah, well, as my boss sometimes says-- i could be a pregnant woman in pakistan, standing on a rooftop in the middle of a flood.

see-- having all this noise isn't so bad when you look at it that way.

melog-20101127.log.0

well, the days off have been nice. but now that it's saturday, the time seems to be quickly slipping away. monday will be here before we know it.

my son punctured my nephew's air mattress on thanksgiving day. so, i owe him an air mattress. that's another one of those expenses i was not anticipating.

well, i bought a new one last night. my son slept in a sleeping bag on the floor. that was part of making him take responsibility for what he did. maybe it was an accident, but still, it was a costly one. he needs to learn that consequences follow our actions.

anyway . . . it seems come cartoonists have revitalized the old pink panther cartoons. they try to follow a lot of the same layout of the older shows, but their are new voices for many of the characters. any it seems that for the most part, the pink panther still doesn't speak.

somehow, to me it's not as funny as the older ones. my kids watched a lot of pink panther after we got our roku player. they're playing the hell out of these new ones.

they watch constantly, but they don't seem to laugh a lot.

i ate some dressing late last night before going to bed. i work up around 07:30 this morning with the beginnings of some super acid reflux. i've had this a few times. worse than heartburn. it seems that acid comes back up your esophagus. as it burns, you cough and try to clear your throat, but it only gets worse.

tums is worthless against this stuff. i had to gulp down a good bit of pepto bismol the slow that nasty stuff down. i felt better in about 15 minutes and went back to sleep after sitting up for a bit.

now i'm ravenously hungry, but worried i'll set off that acid reflux again.

things like this make me feel like an old man.

or, maybe my abusive diet is just catching up with my and my body is trying to tell me something.

time (again) to start tying to get back into better shape.

melog-20101127.log

got home not long ago from my mom's house. my wife was waiting on me so I could see her hair.

her hair is gorgeous! the stylist did a wonderful job.

she's all smiles.

i'm glad to see a big smile on her face.

i had to take the money over to him. my wife wasn't able to take enough money with her when she went to see the stylist. i thanked him for doing her hair, especially on short notice after a holiday.

my wife says the stylist thought that was odd. i guess he wasn't expecting a woman's husband to thank the him for doing hair. there is a tendency to grumble about the expenses of seeing a beautician. a guy pays $10 to $20 for a haircut and shave. if you know somebody, then you can get one for free.

however, my wife's hardo was $185 in all.

then again, the stylist just didn't realize how much importance was hanging on this hairdo.

he did a really good job. my wife shouldn't have any trouble feeling beautiful tonight.

as a matter of fact, she just went to get her camera. i think she's about to update her profile picture on facebook.

melog-20101126.log

well, the fun-ness of thanksgiving seems to be waning away. my wife seems to be self-loathing again. she's found someone to style her hair today. hair is a very big issue and a very sensitive topic for many african-american women. keeping hair healthy often means keeping it natural-- avoid perms, hair coloring, wearing braids for extended periods of time. but, the natural look is very difficult to maintain and keep attractive in the eyes of many men. but if you do decide to perm and do all the other things i just mentioned, people accuse you of abandoning your african roots, hair becomes damaged and unhealthy and starts to literally shed and fall out over time, and then you have to resort to things like wigs, hair weave, and wearing braids for an extended period of time.

and other women, too, who seem to be their toughest critics at times.

so then, this becomes quite a vicious cycle.

i hope she comes back happy, and not disappointed. to come back disappointed is really to say she'll come back depressed and totally defeated. i think she was already like that when she left. so, i hope things don't get any worse for her. i hate to see her struggle with this difficulties. they are so painful for her.

///////////////////////////////

i'm trying really hard to get my finances in better shape. it seems that the harder i try, the harder it is to get things in a better condition. i've taken care of one debt that's been haunting me. now i'm trying to get to the next biggest one, but it's hard to even pay on it when you're bleeding out money in all the other places.

the holidays are a mixed bag of family-fun, memory making, nostalgia, and money hemorrhaging.

i wish i could have a holiday season where i didn't have to spend anything extra.

but that might mean not having a family. so . . . i guess i had better keep my mouth shut and stop complaining.

time to go visit momma. didn't see her yesterday and she didn't want to come by our house for thanksgiving dinner. so, i guess i go see her and take "the grandkids" with so they can see her, too. since she cooked, i'll have some of her food today, and maybe take some of ours for her to sample, too.

melog-20101125.log

well, the dressing is done. wow, that stuff is good. i just took a small sample. we don't even need a turkey-- the dressing is a meal unto itself! it has turkey and broth cooked into it, with celery and other stuff. it's started off as my mother-in-law's recipe, but my wife has made it her own somehow by surpassing even her mother's ability to make dressing.

**** claymore spoiler alert ****

finally finished watching claymore. the ending was not quite what i expected. usually that's a positive thing. it was bitter sweet in that it was anticlimactic as far as the action goes, but the characters still walked away with what was most important.

oh well-- it started off excellent, and the leveled off. some moments were a bit redundant towards the end. overall, i enjoyed the series though.

well, time to get some sleep.

happy thanksgiving!

melog-20101124.log.0

whoa. i almost fell asleep.

all sorts of aromas are permeating the air. my wife is pressure cooking some seasoned broth that is chocked full of turkey wings, onions, and celery.

smells good.

that's the stock for my wife's dressing. she's also about to prepare the turkey for seasoning and baking.

she's also gonna make some mac n' cheese. not like that stuff i made the other night. nope. she gets tons of cheese and other seasonings. she buys the noodles in a bag, rather than the pre-boxed stuff like i make. somehow she adds in eggs, evaporated milk, butter and . . . oh man, it's just good stuff.

well, now she's wrestling around with the kids. she does that sometimes. just starts messing around with them. she'll lock 'em down to the bed or floor and tickle their feet. or pick them up and given a shake and lay them down to the floor. all in fun, now. none of this hurts them. they giggle and laugh and cry, "do it again, mama . . . again!"

even my rusty nine year old son. though, he's getting a bit big to play with like that. the logistics just don't work the same any more like with our five year old daughter. but, we try no to leave him out.

///////////////

i didn't think were were having dinner at our house until a few days ago. i thought were were going to my mother-in-laws. but, at the last minute, my wife tells me she's going to cook and we're not going over there. long story. but, my wife really doesn't get along with a particular sibling. she told her mom that if he's going to be there, she won't. period.

her mom asked her if she did anything to offend her. my wife told her that the problem as specific to her brother.

my wife says that her mother told her that she needed to talk to him about it. my wife replied that he was the one at fault, so he needed to come forward.

then, she ask my wife if she even prayed any more.

oh boy, what did she ask that for?

my wife replied that she doesn't pray any more. she said that god should understand already, so why should she have to get on her knees and tell him (or her) about it. god already knows.

my mother-in-law did not like hearing that, i can imagine. she replied that she will start praying even harder for us, now.

and so, i suspect in a few weeks, i'll end up in a conversation with my mother-in-law. she'll basically ask "why", and i'll be very tempted to evade. i've dodged this question once. it will be hard to keep doing it over time.

or maybe, i'll just point out how i agree that my wife has experience injustice and i stand by her choices. i'm not her boss and it's not my place to impose certain behaviors upon her.

i think i can say that without giving away the fact that i've become non-religious.

and maybe nothing will come of it. we'll see . . .

melog-20101124.log

woo-hoo! i don't work again until monday!

woo-hoo!

i always like to commemorate the day before thanksgiving as jade empire day. that's the day i discovered the game laying around at my mom's house in my brother's computer room. i really enjoyed that game.

my wife took my son out of town that year and i was at home alone. i didn't want to stay at home by myself. you know, an "idle mind . . . " and all that jazz. so, i spent the evening with my mom after work.

after everyone started to settle down for the evening at my mom's house, i started sifting through my brother's xbox games. he's known for buying a game and never even opening it or playing it.

ever.

so, i thought i'd give some of them a spin. i pop in a game, play for five minutes, and throw it to the side. i even rejected jade empire at first.

but, nothing else seemed all that engaging. so, i popped it back in once more, just to give it more of a chance.

before it knew it, my mom was peeping in on me at 06:30 the next morning.

you're still here?? i thought you went home. you've been up all night???

she should know me by now. why was she so surprised?

i ran across that game just when i was starting to open up in a lot of other ways. and i felt so much like the main character in the game-- following a path with many choices before me, but not really sure why i was even on that path, to begin with.

and just as the main character eventually re-evaluated everything once thought to be true, i found myself doing that with my life for real.

and, i also became acquainted with the wuxia genera and found that i love it!

anyhow, i always think about jade empire around this time of year. i loved the music, the imagery, the story line, and feeling like a kung fu master-- even though it's all under false pretenses.

but, there was nothing false about looking inward at myself and all that i though i knew about what i believed and was taught all my life. that was turned upside down, too. and i started a personal, intellectual adventure of my own.

have a happy thanksgiving!

and, have a happy jade empire day, too.

time to head for the house and spend some time with the family.

and watch claymore with my wife, too.

i gotta say-- can't beat having a wife that will watch shows with you like the sci-fi channel's battlestar galactica, classic star trek, and claymore.

melog-20101123.log.1

i had a sudoku puzzle that i had neglected for a while. i finally finished it and here's the out put:

You Win!

You completed the puzzle in 2 years, 10 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 21 hours, 15 minutes and 5 seconds (2 hours, 21 minutes and 19 seconds active)

You got 0 hints

two years to solve a sudoku puzzle, eh?

well, 2 hours was the active time. i suppose that's still slow by a lot of people's standards.

well, my wife is still out. i guess she's having a good time.

how come i don't get to stay out late?

melog-20101123.log.0

i used to listen to pandora online radio rather frequently. especially after i learned how to link my pandora account with my roku box and play songs over the tv.

once my family found out . . . all your stations r belong to us.

my perfectly calibrated, personalized radio stations became hijacked and started being seeded with songs that contain lyrics like, "if you're sexy and you know it, clap your hands".

man . . . i like hip hop, but c'mon.

that's the other problem with pandora . . . all songs are the explicit versions. and, the roku box is so easy to manipulate. keeping kids from hearing a lot of explicit music it difficult to do without simply banning the radio stations.

i just renamed my station, "hijacked radio: my kids hijacked my stations".

if there is anything personal in your life, be sure that your kids, spouse, and nephew will hijack it in time.

oh well, when you can't beat 'em-- bounce wit it, drop wit it, lean wit it . . .

melog-20101123.log

i feel exonerated! i was supposed to have a project finished by 11/15 and i still haven't figured it out yet. but, after people started looking at the problem with me, we've found that we had very poor installation documentation. crucial steps were omitted from the install documentation and i've received very little support from the vendor of the product i'm trying to install.

once some people smarted than me realized the problem was in the documentation, i stopped feeling so bad about not being on schedule with the install.

so then, it's not my fault. it's the documentation's fault.

and even after trying to add in the omitted instructions, the gurus above me can't figure it out. so, i'm not crazy! yeah!

working with linux, unix, databases, and unfamiliar, open source programs, you often run into a lot of terse, cryptic (i really mean: bad) documentation.

now that i have evidence that the documentation was the problem, a weight has lifted off my shoulders. i was so stressed earlier.

///////////////////

my dear wife is having some confidence issues today. i wish i could wave my had and they all disappear. but, it's not that simple. i hate to see her that way. she's so hard on herself and becomes rather depressed at times.

but, she's doing a workout right now in the living room. so . . . maybe that will lift her spirits.

//////////////////

i went to an indian restaurant today and met my wife and a family friend there. good eats!

funny . . . a co-worker of mine went to a training class in new york city last week. he said that the city has an area known as indian curry lane that has almost 100 indian restaurants in the area.

wow. we probably only have two indian restaurants in our whole state!

well, i know that at least one of the two restaurants in our state is really good.

after my wife finishes her work out, she going to meet a new lady friend that i introduced to her a few days ago. she seems nervous about it. that's so odd to me. i would never be nervous if i were meeting another dude. she's going to meet her for coffee or something while i keep the kids (again).

i guess i'll fix some more tyson chicken patties for the kids. i think i'll just have a can of chilly beans for myself or maybe some ramen noodles.

i suck at cooking.

melog-20101122.log.2

i was an amazon junkie until i heard that they defended the publishing of an e-book that seemed to instruct pedophiles on how to carry out their desires in a "proper" fashion.

it's one thing for amazon to say, "oh, we didn't know this book was here. shit! let's take it down!"

nope. they said something like, "we don't want to censor people just because their content is objectionable--even though we don't condone it."

okay, that's not really an exact quote of their statement, but that's the gist of it, to me.

so, i decided that i wouldn't buy anything else from amazon until they admitted that they made a mistake.

boycotts were threatened. they pulled the e-book. their stock dipped mildly and came back up with little problem over the next few days.

i really wish we had stuck it to 'em. i know we live in a world of free speech. it's just that free speech does have it's consequences. it's free speech because the government cannot imped the delivery of the message. it's not free speech in the sense that it's free of repercussions.

anyway . . . i usually do all my christmas shopping from amazon because i hate malls and shopping centers and all that.

anyway. i'm trying not to bow down. but, it almost seems pointless to protest any more.

i wrote the letter to my brother about the mystery check he received. i hate having to do things like that. it makes the disappointed of his situation fresh again. he's older than me and i always looked to him for wisdom. many times, he was even a father figure. somehow, he seems to have become a bit delusional lately. i'm not sure what has changed about him. maybe i just never saw it before. maybe people can have uncanny wisdom in certain areas of their lives, and have uncanny delusions in other areas of their lives.

at least he's in a low security facility. it's not like he's in oz or anything. i'd be worried to death if that were the case.

my wife called me from her cell. that means she's off work and heading home. she's probably going to have a lot to talk about concerning work today. or maybe not. anyway, when she gets home, i'll try to spend a little time with her.

but first, i gotta get the kids in bed. it's late, but they don't have school.

melog-20101122.log.1

got tyson patties and mac n' cheese cooked for the kids. i'm a lazy cook. but, it's the only thing my kids will eat that i cook besides cookies, brownies or pies. i can bake sweets, but i can't cook a meal worth a damn.

well, maybe a hamburger. but, that's not really cooking. that's just turning meat over until it's done.

my wife and nephew-- now they can cook.

my kids are chowin' down now. so, they must like it at least some.

why does the water in my pot always start to brim over when i make mac n' cheese?

i don't know. but i know one thing-- nothing makes you feel more alive than a hot angry drop of boiling water popping onto the back of your hand!

i'm so glad i have a laptop now. my nephew is hogging our desktop computer right now. my wife doesn't want him on our computer, but geesh . . . man shall not live by bread alone, but should always have access to a computer and the interwebs!

i've never mentioned this before in any of my writings . . . but i have a brother who has gotten into some legal trouble and landed himself in prison. i have have alluded to it, but i've never come out plainly and said it. he's been in prison now for about a year and has four more years to go. he tried to appeal his case, but no dice. i think i could have advised his lawyers on a lot of points. i think my brother paid for bum counsel.

he had a lot going for him, but now he's potentially lost a good future. not just here and now . . . but if you project out what he'd have financially from his job and retirement, he would have done really well for himself.

i hate that for him. but, i fear he might be guilty and therefore got what was coming to him--unfortunately.

i have to take care of his financial business in the meanwhile. i have power of attorney over his affairs and i have to settle a lot of his debts on his behalf. with his money, of course. i got a letter for him at my address. i think it's a scam, so, i have the dreary business of writing him and asking him why someone sent him a check for over $1000 when he probably owes them over $2000.

ah well . . .

my son is eating at the table with me. he's talking to me while i'm creating this melog. he's telling me that he knows why the sun makes the sky look blue.

my daughter is drinking some of my cranberry juice and playing in her mac n' cheese. i guess she doesn't like it all that much after all. that's bad when a carboholic won't eat your mac n' cheese.

my washer has stopped. i guess i gotta start folding and drying.

i hate house work; house work is never done and it interferes with what i'd rather do. housework makes me feel like a damn slave.

ok . . . that's a bit harsh. but, still, i hate housework.

and yard work, too. so glad it's fall-- at least until it's time to rake the damn leaves.

oh wait . . . that's why i bought that big ass leaf blower / vacuum last year! ha, ha!

melog-20101122.log.0

an old friend called me today just before i left work. i haven't talked to him in years. he's a good guy, but he's hard to talk with on the phone. he starts talking and won't let you get a word in edgewise.

but, he'll bend over backwards to help you out when your in a jam. and he's a much better listener when talking face to face.

when i first knew him, i was really gun-ho in the pentecostal movement. i got him into it. after i was saved, i convinced him that i have found the truth. he was going down the nation of islam track in that time of his life.

i've long since left church altogether, but he's still knee deep in the moment. sometimes i feel like i owe it to him to tell him i don't believe in the apostolic doctrine any longer. but, then, he would probably rat me out if i told him. he's really chummy with my mother-in-law, who is a pentecostal minister at the church we all used to attend.

he never mentioned church until just before hanging up. he asked me if we visited the local pentecostal church in the suburb we've moved to. he figures that since we don't go to our "home" church any more, that perhaps we go to the church closer to our new home (we moved about two years ago to where we are currently).

i told him that we hadn't, but had thought about it (no, not really).

i suppose he went to that all night, shut in prayer service, too, like my mother-in-law. i suppose they now have a renewed sense for wanting to win souls and figure out why their loved ones won't return to god. when i was caught up in the movement, i spent a lot of time praying about those same things. i bet that's what they're doing, too. they think if they pray harder, fast longer, and give up more then god will touch our hearts and make us come back to "the fold". that's why i think they both asked me about church around the same time.

there most certainly would have to be a pentecostal god for that to happen, now that i've come to evaluate god and religion in a totally different light.

well, gotta pick up the kids from my mom's house. probably had better clean up, do a little laundry, and find something for dinner tonight cause the missus is working late tonight.

*sarcasm* yea. i'm a single dad tonight. */sarcasm*

melog-20101122.log

i get to have a lunch break today since school is out this week. usually, i have to sacrifice my lunch break to take my kids over to my mom's house after school. thanks to thanksgiving holidays, i get a week of lunches.

i went to a chinese restaurant today. they were playing chrsitmas music. here in the south, they play the local radio stations and holiday music. sometimes even country music. i've been to some resturants outside this state that plays traditional chinese music. i wonder if they are catering to the demographic of their customers, or if they simply don't want to continue portraying the stereotype he may have of the chinese.

oh well, the food was good and the staff was very friendly. and the christmas music was no bother at all.

my back feels a bit better. it took a muscle relaxer last night. i also drank a lot of cranberry juice. i think the muscle relaxer might be the thing that's helping. if this doesn't get better soon, i'll see a doctor. i don't want to find out that this was something worse 10 months from now.

my wife hates her job and is waiting for something else to come open. i hope that can happen soon. i think she's approaching her breaking point.

i might have been wrong about thinking we found our nephew's stash. i was hesty in saying such a thing as fact. but, i won't pry. we weren't snooping-- only making up the sheets on his air mattress.

lunch break is almost over. gotta head back to the office and get some more work done.

melog-20101121.log

my wife took my mom to church for me. i usually do it, but my back is still hurting me a lot.

i slept on the floor after watching some more claymore. sleeping on my back on the floor felt better for some reason than the bed.

my back is really aching. i took a goody powder last night. it hardly put a dent in the pain, even though the pain isn't what i would call excruciating. i've certainly felt worse pain in my back.

i had plans to go to a local atheist meet-up group. but, with my wife gone, i'm home with the kids. and with my back ache, i think i'll end up staying home.

i've taken some time to read some of my favorite blogs. i wanted to comment, but i didn't. it seems that what ever i could say is already said in a more succinct way. sometimes, and i don't think my mind can ascend to the cognitive level of conversation found in the comment sections of many blogs i follow.

they do give me something good to think about.

since thanksgiving is this week, there's no school for the whole week. lovely. i guess we gotta take them over to grandma's this week before work.

ok, my back is really annoying me. i'm going to lay down on the floor now.

melog-20101120.log.4

first pie is gone. that is a reflection of my success.

i let my daughter mix some water and baking soda in a bowl in the sink after asking my daughter what she thought would happen.

then, i dumped it out and poured some vinegar in the bowl. she talked about how it looked just like water. i asked her what would happen if we pored backing soda in that vinegar since it looked just like water.

she said, "i don't know".

good answer, in my opinion.

she was delighted at all the foam that bubbled up in the bowl.

we ended up emptying out the whole box of baking soda and used up all the vinegar in the house playing in the sink.

i took my nephew with me to walmart to buy some light bulbs and pick up a pizza for dinner. he was nearby at the electronics section playing on the demo gaming consoles.

i came back and he was gone.

walmart is too big for a wild goose chase.

luckily, he has a cell phone. i called him and found where he was.

things like that seem to be an odd contrast to how responsible he sometimes seems.

he was giving out cards to attract customers. he's a barber trying to drum up clientel. at least he was doing something constructive when he wandered off.

well . . . my wife wants me to watch claymore with her. i'd better go. it's generally not good to keep your wife waiting.

melog-20101120.log.3

the pies are a success!

taste just like mom's.

thank you, mom.

melog-20101120.log.2

the pies are out of the oven. they look good. maybe i over cooked them a little bit. but, nothing major. next time, i'll take them out sooner. i just want to make sure the filling completely congealed.

i just opened a letter from the federal trade commision saying that they sued life lock and made a settlement with them. since i was a former customer, i got something from the settlement.

I got ten dollars and eighty-seven cents.

that wasn't even a monthly payment for my whole family. i guess i can go buy myself a hamburger or something.

cashing the check doesn't take away my legal rights to bring about my own law suite against life lock. but, what ever i get, the trade commission's settlement that i received will be deducted from whatever new award i might get.

yeah-- so if i get millions back from life lock because i sue them myself, they'll be sure to deduct that whopping ten dollars and eight-seven cents from any other legal award i might pursue.

i'll just go enjoy myself a hamburger and hope the cashier doesn't steal my identity from my debit card. trying to sue for more that ten dollars just isn't worth it.

melog-20101120.log.1

my mother-in-law just left. she asked us if we were willing to go to church with her sunday.

my wife and i glanced at each other, and then looked at the celling, as if in deep thought.

we answered with silence, but our answer was clear.

my mother-in-law then tried to make some small talk on another subject, and eventually eased on out to her car.

awkward.

if you want to know any of my history with religion, read my original blog at My Dirty Little Secret. i don't feel like recapping any of that here. that would be like reinventing the wheel.

melog-20101120.log.0

pies are in the oven. my daughter helped. i think she had fun mixing everything. i let her help because her bother and his friend are treating her like she's a nuisance. i wanted to make up for that by letting her do something exclusive since her brother is having a opportunity to be exclusive, too.

my mother-in-law is over here at the moment. she's taking a nap because she stayed up all night, too, like me. while i was watching claymore, she was at church in a prayer shut in. she stayed up all night with other church members praying and making supplication to the lord. her mother (my kids great-grandmother) is in a nursing home that is near my current residence. so, my mother-in-law was caring for her. she's grown tired from being up all night with no sleep and stopped by our house for a nap. she came in on us making pies.

she's a very good cook herself, so it was a bit humbling to be teaching my daughter to cook a pie that i can hardly get right myself.

but, i think these will turn out much better than my last fiasco. and, i think the ones i took to work tasted good, even though i didn't really get to sample them.

my first pies came out more like the traditional egg custard pie. they are pale comparisons to chess pies and i do not like them. chess pie has something more to it. i won't tolerate any pie that claims to be a chess pie, but is missing that extra "something".

not even my own pies.

while i was getting supplied for my pie, i saw a man with a crown royal shirt on.

i didn't noticed they made those.

isn't that like saying across your shirt, "hi, i'm an alcoholic"?

i want a crown royal shirt.

don't worry . . . I've only had about 1325 milliliters of whiskey in all my life. if you think it through and do the math, you'll see that only makes a few bottles of whiskey. five u.s. cups of liquid.

i'm 35 years old. i haven't even began to start drinking, yet-- compared to someone who really knows how to drink.

and . . . i've never been truly drunk. a bit tipsy, but never drunk in my life.

so, there ya go. let's keep it that way.

melog-20101120.log

i watched claymore until almost 04:00 this morning. awesome stuff! i'm an addict.

i slept in until about 11:30 today.

i have a pain in my back. i pulled a muscle a few years ago in that spot. i'm not so sure that's what's hurting this time. it might be my kidney or something. i may need to check that out. maybe that's why i felt sick the other day. hmmmmm . . . .

my house can go from clean to messy in 60 seconds. my nephew can cook chicken wings like it's nobody's business. but, he left a lot of mess behind. but, if someone cooks for you, i suppose you can at least clean up for them.

but, regardless of his cooking for us, the house gets messy really fast. i almost don't want to ever bother cleaning up.

my son has found a new friend down the street. he's been coming over playing xbox and nintindo games for a few weeks now. they met on the school bus. it makes sense that they would eventually become friends.

my poor little daughter doesn't seem to have any neighbored friends. but, my son just made this friend after living here for two years so far. one little girl came over to play with my daughter, but i don't think her mom was comfortable with us. i think the permanent tan that we have makes her a bit nervous. maybe she's just shy. well, her daughter isn't. i wasn't home when they came by to see my daughter-- my wife was. she seems to think the little girl's mom is just shy. no crime in that. shame though. she may be living her life beneath her privileges by living in constant shyness.

not that i'm brimming with confidence myself, or anything.

i digress. no wait . . . i cannot digress in a melog. it logs whatever i want to say.

and i wanted to say that my daughter is vying for attention right now. she's not getting any from her brother or his neighbored friend. she rides the school bus too, so she wants to be included and can't understand that she's four years younger and her mom doesn't want her hanging around a bunch of rusty, rowdy boys.

but my daughter is only five, and she can command that xbox just as well as two rowdy 9 year old boys. don't underestimate my daughter's xbox-game fu. she can play mechwarrior just as well as they can. as a matter of fact, she's schooling my son's friend as i type this. he's trying to act like he knows what he's doing, because he doesn't want a five year old girl telling him how to play a testosterone filled shooter game.

soon, i think i will go to the store. i'll take my daughter with me. we'll get some more pie ingredients and i'll let her help me make a pie while my son plays with his friend.

my daughter says that she wants to "make science". i think she really means that she wants to get her hands dirty and not get in trouble for it. i think we'll mix some left over vinegar with some baking soda and let her see what happens.

i think we found our nephews "stash" under his air mattress. i told him when he (ugh, i don't want to use the phrase) moved in with us that i don't care what he does outside of my house because i'll give him the liberty of being a grown man. he's 24 and towers me by a foot-- so, I feel awkward telling him how to live his life outside of my personal "domain", for lack of a better work from my vocabulary.

as a matter of fact, i was forewarned. so, i'm not surprised. but, i don't want him to influence my kids and i don't want him to get into trouble or bring trouble to my house.

he seems really discreet under the circumstances. i'll play it by ear. i don't think i'll let him know we know. if he realizes that i'm not too strict about this, then he may take further liberties. best he fear i'll kick him out if i found out. that way, he hopefully won't be careless and leave me with no other alternative. i'm trying to give him a hand up.

i may discuss it with him when he announces he's all set and ready to go back home.

see, his mom knows about it, so he's used to the freedom of it.

anyhow . . .

my back hurts. i hope it's not serious.

later, i'll be watching claymore hopefully. i think i'll lay off the crown for a while.

first, gotta get ready to head to the store, get pie ingredients, and spend some face time with my neglected little daughter.

melog-20101119.log.4

thank the lords of kobol it's friday!

been bustin' my ass all week.

just watched star trek. i saw the episode, the trouble with tribbles. I never watched that episode all the way through before. i watched it on dvd.

silly episode-- as many original star trek episodes can be. but, underneath most episodes--no matter how silly-- is a social commentary that still speaks to us some 40 years later.

what was the social commentary? follow the facts to find help find the truth rather than jumping to conclusions. be careful of seductive feelings that can cloud your judgment.

and don't feed tribbles.

/////////////////////////////////

my stomach is still unsettled, but feels a bit better. lemon-lime soda and salty corn chips is helping my stomach to feel a bit more settled.

a train is passing by. my monitor is shaking on my desktop. damn. first time i've noticed that!

while out going to the store to buy some chips, i smelled pizza in the air. it smelled wonderful, but i still had no appetite. odd to get a whiff of something so wonderful, but not want to eat. any other evening, i would have made a straight line to mazzio's and chowed down.

well . . . now it's time to watch some claymore. i hope it's a good series. i've never seen it before and i'm really interested after seeing the first episode.

then, imma have a little coke 'n crown-- if my stomach can handle it, that is.

melog-20101119.log.3

i'm still at work, but about to leave. i had to install sshd on a six servers that only had telnet available on them.

now, it's time to go home and play.

my stomach isn't as queasy as before. still feels a bit unstable, though. i'm not hungry at all. i think i'll pick up a lemon-lime soda to settle my stomach some. maybe i'll get some crackers or something like that, too.

shame. i worked damn hard on those pies and i worked damn hard today. i've worked a lot of extra time this week. but from here on-- if i work hard, i gets to play hard, too. otherwise, i'll grow quite bitter, i think.

////////////////////////////

my daughter checked out a library book. she's five years old. she's really becoming good at reading. she's starting to like it-- just like her brother did when he was five.

i'm very, very proud of her.

i was very proud of my son when he learned to read, too. these are the things that make raising kids worthwhile--

after the fact.

gotta go pick 'em up and take 'em home. i promised i'd let them help me bake another pie this weekend.

melog-20101119.log.2

i'm skipping the luncheon. i'm feeling sick all of a sudden. maybe all that coffee i drank has my stomach upset. i haven't had coffee in weeks.

my bowels gave an executive order to visit the bathroom. with urgency, i complied.

now, i think i need some pepto bismol. my stomach feels queasy.

since i won't be going to the luncheon, i'll have to finish out my workday like normal. bummer. i was looking forward to the luncheon.

and worst of all . . . i'll never know if anyone liked my pies! they will be at the luncheon, but i will not.

ugh . . . time to take that pepto now and get back to work.

melog-20101119.log.1

hopelessness is a long, endless, dark tunnel that inexorably leads to a bottomless well of dark despair.

depression is believing you're walking down that endless corridor of despair with no escape route-- save one.

these are not my emotions, but i know people who feel this way and cannot help it. it is very difficult to watch someone suffer from the stuff of depression. to only know brief freedom from it between taking pills.

my dear wife suffers from this and also another one of my dearest friends. i wish i could say something that would make it all go away. but i know that i cannot. their minds are frozen in this state by the hatefulness of others.

it is so unfair. but, they are both brave people because every day they wake up and face that long tunnel and live.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

the luncheon will be soon. but all of a sudden, my stomach aches and i have no appetite. what luck?!

i'm reading about weblogic. i cannot get any new domains to be created-- only the example domain will appear. do i need a better license. no one out there knows or gives a clear answer. searching for clear information on weblogic has been like listening to a mentally ill person spew out a flight of disconnected ideas.

maybe the problem is me.

i have found weblogic: the definitive guide. but, so far, it has not answered my question, but several hundred pages my be sitting on top of the answer-- if the answer is to be found at all.

who knows? if you know what i'm doing wrong with weblogic, please comment.

or not. i'll live.

melog-20101119.log.0

now these pies taste much, much better.

almost like mom's.

my washer won't run the spin cycles.

the washing machine's lid has a peg on it that lines up with a notch in the door frame of the washing machine's chassis. the peg on the door depresses a switch underneath that notch when you lower the lid.

well, the switch is mounted in just the right place by screws. the mount broke from wear and tear over the years.

i fumbled with it for days. i tried tape and cords to try and hold it in place. sometimes it would work. but the jarring of the spin cycle throws everything out of place.

but as my pies were baking, i finally had an idea.

the switch has a flexible metal brace under it that protrudes out like a long lip or finger.

I bent the metal brace backwards and permanently pressed down the switch.

voilà!

all the cycles complete. i can wash my clothes again.

i should be sleep. you wouldn't realize that i have to be at work in the morning if you notice how late this log spooled.

melog-20101119.log

my pies taste like shit.

my wife says they're good, but i think she's just being nice.

i made two more pies. i was doubling the recipe on the last batch, but didn't double the sugar. so, my pies taste horrible. they remind me of imitation chess pies that i've bought out of restaurants who don't know diddly about chess pies.

i've made another batch of batter and put them in the oven. i almost made another horrible blunder and forgot to add my milk. i poured the batter into one of my pie shells before adding the milk.

shit.

i had to pour it back into the bowl, add the milk, stir and pour back into she shells again. i think these still have a chance to come out to be a pale comparison of momma's chess pie.

now one of the pies is dripping goo onto the heating element in the stove and instead of smelling that sweet, wonderful aroma of confections, i smell charred carbon.

bloody hell.

oh well, nothin' a glass of crown royal and an episode of claymore or star trek can't fix.

worse case scenario . . . i'll go to walmart and bring a pound cake to the luncheon. or, maybe i just won't go all together.

my son came stumbling into the kitchen. he scared the willies out of me. i asked him if he was going to sneak up on me one day and stab me in the back.

he says he might one day if he ever works for the special forces.

he has an inappropriate interest in snipers and assassins for a nine year old.

melog-20101118.log.1

my pies look done. let's cross our fingers.

anderson cooper is playing over my roku box. he's keepin' 'em honest about sarah palin running for president.

all i know is, brandy shouldn't have been kicked off of dancing with the stars.

will palin win? i dunno . . . she might. i think she's really manipulative with her words. people suggest she's dumb. nope. she knows exactly what she's doing.

i might make a third pie before i go to bed so that we can have one for ourselves. my wife was hovering over my pies. one of them might not make it to the luncheon tomorrow.

i'm trying to rotate my blog titles like syslogs in linux. too much work. i'll have to give up on that.

ich bin hungrig.

i tried learning some german. i haven't kept up with it.

i'm hungry. i wanna eat.

okay, i'm back. i tasted some of my pie.

i made an error in making it. i didn't do something right. i didn't follow the recipe correctly. i see (and taste) my mistake.

gotta make a third pie.

ok . . . gotta go now. but, i may log something else if something significant happens (like baking the perfect pie!)

melog-20101118.log.0

my pies are not quite done yet. they look wonderful on top, but are too giggly to be done.

:-(

I hope I don't ruin them. this is the first time in years I've made a chess pie. and even the last time i made them wasn't very good at it. my mom makes them and they are wonderful.

these are not egg custard pies like most people make. these have cornmeal and vinegar in them. sounds bad, but mixed in with all the pure vinella extract, evaporated milk, sugar, and butter-- wow! they just taste great.

my wife and nephew can smell the sweetness in the air.

good thing the kids are asleep.

i'll let them help me make a pie over the weekend. we're gonna be fat.

melog-20101118.log

i've come to realize that i need to write. i have two blogs already, but they are not fulfilling any more. but i still need to write.

why?

i know why . . . i need to write about ME.

not essays for other people to read. i don't want to worry about grammar and spelling and making sense. much like the cryptic logs found on a unix system buried down in /var/log/messages or /var/log/syslog. i read logs every day and this seems appropriate to me.

i'm pressed for time. can't dwell on too much for too long.

my foot hurts when the seasons change. i feel like an old man, but i'm only 35 years old.

a man at walmart greeted me, "how you, young man?"

i felt older than that greeting deserved. i need to get off my ass and lose some weight. maybe i'll feel young again.

work has been a bitch lately. it's sucking all of my time and i keep running into a lot of technical difficulties. for the past few weeks, i've felt like i was in a technological slump.

a few things went right today, though. felt good. when i get things right, i love my job.

not so much the job . . . but problem solving. i'm not the best at it, but i love it.

sudoku got me started. then cryptograms. now i love solving problems.

i'm baking pies for our company thanksgiving lunchen. I'm from tennessee, so I'm making my favorite pie-- chess pie. it's a local favorite.

no, i'm not in tenessee any longer. i miss it a lot and want to go back sometimes, but . . . no one i know is there any more.

my newphew is staying with us. he's an odd mix of maturity and teenager madness. he wonders why he can't find love, but has at least three girlfriends and is trying to get a fourth. hmmmm . . .

but, he has an excellent work ethic and is really trying to get back on his feet from some fubar situations that happened in his life. some of it his fault, some of it parent's fault, and some of it society's fault.

i was in a very pissed mood the past few weeks. but, then i read my favorite blogs and started writing again. i felt great! felt better than drinking lots of crown royal-- which is good stuff with coke by the way.

gotta check on my pies. hope they turn out great.