melog-20110820.log

wow! this article expresses my frustration with reality tv in a way i couldn't say on my own:

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-08-19/entertainment/reality.tv.hess_1_jon-and-kate-gosselin-reality-show-low-ratings?_s=PM:SHOWBIZ

we should all think about this very seriously.

as for feeling useless-- amazing what a pizza, a red stripe jamacan lager, and good night of sleep can do. also, troubleshooting a pc for someone and knowing exactly what to do to fix it helps, too.

i feel better now.

melog-20110819.log

more on (not) measuring up . . .

but, this time, not with television, but in the workplace.

i never felt like an expert or guru at anything. maybe good or really good at some things, but i don't feel like i've created any master pieces in my life in any field of study.

i work every day and do my best to grow and contribute. i reach for professionalism. i was never formally trained in what i currently do. i just picked it up. i'm good at it. the theme of this blog is even lightly centered around the kind of work that i do.

but wow! what do you do when new people show up and seem light years ahead of you in their sheer knowledge and adeptness-- and are also ten years younger than you?!

makes me feel like an old dog that can't learn new tricks-- and didn't learn any good ones when i had the chance.

feelings like that can make you wonder if you're a failure-- and if you're even useful any more.

and no one wants to become obsolete in this stinking economy!!

as the big contraction of economic viability causes unemployment to grow, being upstaged can feel quite threatening . . .

and can make you feel down right useless, too.

just paint a big ol' L on my forehead.

melog-20110818.log.1

i got a great deal on a 50 inch tv. it's a dlp television. so, it's "old" by today's standards. it's a big projection tv. you have to replace the bulb and color wheel now and then. the person who sold it to me had already put a new bulb in. i bought it and then bought a new color wheel since it was making this horrible squealing noise. the seller warned me about it, so i knew full well what i was getting into.

i bought the part and fixed it. he sold the tv to me for $200. the color wheel was about $100.

so, i got a tv that once costed anywhere from $800 to $1000 for $300.

but, what i wasn't prepared for was after i relocated the cable in our house and all the tv programs started playing.

the big screen seems to enhance the power of television-- a power that i'm starting to despise.

tv has this ability to take people you've never met and force you to compare yourself to them. and the results are hardly ever good. then, commercals come on to feed your mind into thinking that if you buy their stuff, you will measure up.

or, if you could just be like the people you see on tv, you'll be living the "good life".

so you end up giving up your life to sit on the couch and watch people on (so called) reality tv shows do mundane things-- just with more style than you do them. and you wish you were doing what they do-- even though they are most likely doing very little that's different from what you could be doing if you got off the couch and went and tried it yourself (minus all the swank and style).

i can watch a good sci-fi, thriller, comedy, or action movie. i love an informative documentory and even a "reality" tv contest (like amazing race, survivor, or expedition impossible for example). i can even stomach an occasional heartwarming story or tear jerker.

but's these damn reality tv shows where people just bitch back and forth about how she's a liar and he's a cheat, and "they don't got my back" simply suck ass.

they only show whiny people manufacture sub-par drama while somehow making you feel like you'll never measure up to their standard of living. after all-- they are so important that even when they whine about their nails-- they should be televised!!!

ugh!

i love my 50 in. tv.

and i hate it, too.

or maybe i just hate the cable programming garbage that pumps through it, cause i gotta have my netflix.

melog-20110818.log.0

yesterday my daughter and i had a peculiar conversation:

daughter: daddy . . . are you my step-dad? (six years old, been in 1st grade for only one week)

me: do you even know what a "step-dad" is?

daughter: yeah. a step-dad is a dad who takes care of someone else's child.

me: well . . . how do you think you can find the answer without asking me?

daughter: i know . . . i can call grandma!

so, we took the phone and called grandma (my mother).

grandma: hello? (as she answers the phone)

daughter: (totally skips the greeting) is daddy my step-dad?

grandma: what?!?!

my daughter felt confident that "grandma" was actually *my* mom and therefore, i was her *dad* and not her step-dad.

i asked my wife if she overheard.

"yeah", was my wife's response. "she asked me the same question before she came in there and asked you".

apparently my wife tried to fool our daughter by saying that she was indeed her step-mom, but my daughter didn't believe that for a second.

funny that she had her doubts about me.

melog-20110818.log

well, i diagnosed my car problems correctly. once i found that the fuel filted wasn't the fix, i started looking at the spark plugs.

but i didn't feel comfortable changing those.

but, my car started making this horrible, dreadful knocking sound. i thought it was the end!

but, i read the car manual and saw how a pully could be loose or a tooth on the gear that pulls the belt could be missing. i had a bit more hope after reading that. so, i towed it to the repair shop.

they changed my spark plugs and that fixed the lull in my takeoff and acceleration. the knocking sound was a pully and they also found that persistant, pesky oil leak that that no one could ever fix-- behind the pully!

awsome moment of troubleshooting; awful moment in car expenses.

any way, now i can get to work again.

#Rootstrikers

http://www.rootstrikers.org/

melog-20110808.log

Well, changing out the fuel filter didn't fix all of my problems.

But . . . my car runs much better. My car is still sluggish when I accelerate from a total stop or go in reverse. But, it does it far less. Rather than threatening to cut off at every stop light when the air is running, not it only does it a few once and a while.

I changed the air filter on my car. That didn't seem to help the situation. But, hey . . . I can't recall the last time that car had the air filter changed. I don't think I've ever changed it since I've owned it.

I'll try some of that gas treatment stuff to see if that helps. After that, I'll probably need to take it to a professional car mechanic.

melog-20110807.log

ok, been a while-- yada, yada, yada . . .

my car has been sputtering when i try to accelerate-- especially when i run the air conditioning. it's been nasty, hot and humid in my town. driving with no air conditioning is like taking a bath in a pit of hot coals. but, the car ran worse when the air was on.

i did some reading in the car manual for my car model. i started thinking . . . sounds like the problem is my fuel filter.

It looked easy enough to replace.

I called a nearby auto store and asked how much one costs for my model.

Just ten bucks! Cool!

I read the procedure on how to remove the fuel filter and ran up to the store to pick one up.

The book instructed to remove the fuse that powers the fuel pump first. Turn on the car and make sure it cuts off. I did this and then removed the negative battery cable.

Next, I proceeded to loosen the clamps around the hose that runs to the fuel filter.

And that's when things got ridiculously tough!

First-- my dominant hand has been really hurting. I've even seen a doctor about it and I wear an arm splint most of the time. I even sleep in it. I hardly have any strength in my hand-- I have no grip. Typing is a chore, too. But, not as hard as squeezing toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

So, I wasn't surprised that I had trouble getting the hose off of the old fuel filter. But, damn!

What the hell?!

I found that the secret was to make a twisting motion as you pulled the hose off from the filter.

OOWW!!!!

I had to take frequent breaks.

Finally, the hose on the top of the filter gave way. Gas trickled out. Luckily, the car manual recommended wearing latex gloves. Boy, I'm glad I did!

Now it was time for the bottom hose.

I finally got it free and plugged in the new filter.

No leaks.

I drove around with the air on and everything ran smoothly.

You know what? I think I fixed my car.

I only paid ten bucks, two Advil, and an icy gel pack inserted in my arm splint.

Feels so nice.