In some of my previous writings, I purposely employed the use of a lower-case "i" as my personal pronoun in order to express a sense of inadequacy or smallness. You can find examples of this in previous posts on this blog.
Today-- that practice ends.
I feel empowered in such a way that I shall never reference myself with a lower-case "i" again. Yesterday, illumination flooded my mind as I beheld the liberating consequence of empowerment.
Proving competence to yourself authorizes you to control your destiny.
For me, the term "self-esteem" had evolved into a muted truth buried in cliché. But now . . . that buried truth bursts forth as I prove to myself-- my most brutal critic-- that I am capable. I am able. I can. And-- I get high from just realizing that. When I prove to myself that I can solve my own problems by reaching beyond myself, I become empowered-- and I crave more of it.
I do not claim total self-sufficiency; Interdependence is inevitable. I know that I cannot solve every challenge single handedly. But, confidence inspires that very same substance out of others; eventually, multiple hands appear-- assisting you with lifting daunting challenges out of the way.
Today, I am empowered. Hereafter, I will succeed.
20130630
20130628
melog-20130628.log
Yesterday, I got a letter which labeled me as "Valued customer since 1999". Regardless, the letter proceeded to say:
Please know that your policy will expire as of 12:01 a.m. on August 3, 2013. Unfortunately, you will not receive an offer to renew . . .
Valued customer, my ass . . .
Please know that your policy will expire as of 12:01 a.m. on August 3, 2013. Unfortunately, you will not receive an offer to renew . . .
Valued customer, my ass . . .
20130626
melog-20130626.log
It's 00:43 right now. I'm wide awake. At 22:30 on June 24th, I had server maintenance. I didn't leave until 07:00 the next day. I went grocery shopping for my mom, got home in time to see my wife head off to work. My mom kept my kids, so I crashed at 09:30. Keep in mind-- that's AM.
I fell asleep so fast, I think maybe I blacked-out rather than the usual drifting off to sleep.
I was surprised to wake up with my son standing over me. I had no idea how that happened at the time. I knew he wasn't supposed to be home, so how in the hell was he standing over me, waking me up?! I though in that moment that perhaps I had slept so long that my wife had come home from her night class. So, that would mean it was 22:00 at least. Talk about Rip Van Winkle. Turns out his maternal grandmother brought him by to get something from the house and then took him back to my mom's house.
I blacked-out again.
I finally started my day at 19:00 and went to the hardware store and bought a new fill valve for my toilet. My bedroom toilet had been hissing after being flushed, and it wouldn't fill up properly. This had been going on for too long now, and I had to finally do something. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try something. Things were starting to get nasty in the bathroom and I can't stand for that. Toilets can really give you grief when they fail to do their jobs properly. They are quite easy to take for granted.
I stopped off for some coffee after purchasing my flush valve. I think the only reason why I woke up is because my coffee withdrawal jarred me out of my sleep. I went through the drive-thu and chuckled at the sign propped up at the window which read, "Congratulations, you made it out of bed today!"
Boy, they have no idea . . . or do they?
I fixed the toilet when I got home with the kids (so far as I can tell). It behaves correctly now. I feel empowered.
Just because I worked late the other day doesn't mean I'm not expected to be at work at 08:00 hours today. But, I'm wide awake *now*. To me, the day has just gotten started. I can't make it from now to 17:00 without needing some sleep along the way. But I probably won't get sleepy until 09:00 today.
Welcome to the world of system administration, delayed sleep phase syndrome and coffee addition-- Bad, bad bedfellows, indeed!
I fell asleep so fast, I think maybe I blacked-out rather than the usual drifting off to sleep.
I was surprised to wake up with my son standing over me. I had no idea how that happened at the time. I knew he wasn't supposed to be home, so how in the hell was he standing over me, waking me up?! I though in that moment that perhaps I had slept so long that my wife had come home from her night class. So, that would mean it was 22:00 at least. Talk about Rip Van Winkle. Turns out his maternal grandmother brought him by to get something from the house and then took him back to my mom's house.
I blacked-out again.
I finally started my day at 19:00 and went to the hardware store and bought a new fill valve for my toilet. My bedroom toilet had been hissing after being flushed, and it wouldn't fill up properly. This had been going on for too long now, and I had to finally do something. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try something. Things were starting to get nasty in the bathroom and I can't stand for that. Toilets can really give you grief when they fail to do their jobs properly. They are quite easy to take for granted.
I stopped off for some coffee after purchasing my flush valve. I think the only reason why I woke up is because my coffee withdrawal jarred me out of my sleep. I went through the drive-thu and chuckled at the sign propped up at the window which read, "Congratulations, you made it out of bed today!"
Boy, they have no idea . . . or do they?
I fixed the toilet when I got home with the kids (so far as I can tell). It behaves correctly now. I feel empowered.
Just because I worked late the other day doesn't mean I'm not expected to be at work at 08:00 hours today. But, I'm wide awake *now*. To me, the day has just gotten started. I can't make it from now to 17:00 without needing some sleep along the way. But I probably won't get sleepy until 09:00 today.
Welcome to the world of system administration, delayed sleep phase syndrome and coffee addition-- Bad, bad bedfellows, indeed!
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