melog-20101130.log

well, that tornado didn't touch down in my monkey sphere, so i guess we're all ok for now. let's just hope that one doesn't swoop us away in our sleep. that happened to a subdivision once. it was a very sad event to learn about. many people died in their sleep.

maybe that's why i'm still awake.

still lots of rain. the lightning is getting very bright at times and the thunder explodes loudly.

then, the rain subsides and you only hear wind chimes.

i'm eating a midnight snack. i'm having a bowl of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with powdered cocoa. i talked to my wife for a good while before fixing the ice cream and doing the dishes. we talked about her history class. she talked about how her professor stated that voltaire's way of thinking was a distant cause of the rise of the nazi party.

hmmmm . . . .

we talked a good while about all that was implied by such a statement.

i think i'll post a more detailed opinion on my original blog, "my dirty little secret" later this week. this idea has been on my mind for months. but, i don't feel like hashing out my opinions about all that here and now.

after all, i should be asleep already.

but, it's hard to turn down good conversation with an especially cute woman donning a gorgeous, most fabulous $185 hairdo.

that's not sarcasm, by the way.

i didn't eat any of the left over pizza. turns out, my nephew came to the kitchen and ate the rest of it anyhow. so, i think he would have honestly been a bit disappointed.

i've been in the closet for a while now about distancing myself from the christian faith. but, it's been a bit hard to stay in the closet inside my own house with my nephew staying for an extended period.

his brother (my other nephew) seems quite agnostic about god. i find that very interesting.

i assumed the same for the nephew hanging out with us. but, on his first night here he said that he was hoping he'd get the job he was looking for. he was doubtful until he saw a commercial where an african-american barber was cutting a caucasian's hair. just after the commercial went off, his phone ran. the barber shop where he applied was informing him that he had the job.

he then said, "if i didn't believe in god before, i sure do believe in him now".

"that's interesting . . ." i replied. i cringed inside myself, hoping my son wouldn't say something critical. he's rather out spoken about his feelings sometimes. but this time, he was quiet.

so . . . i just left it at that. what can i say? i wasn't there.

my daughter asked me earlier today about who made the world. she wanted to know who or what was responsible for all of it's beauty.

i told her that i didn't know for sure.

then i asked her what she thought.

she said, "well, it wasn't god. mommy told me he wasn't real".

hmmmm . . . i wasn't expecting that answer.

i asked her, "well, that's what mommy thinks. what do you think?"

see, i want my children to think for themselves-- even if that means she ends up believing in god. that goes for my son, too.

i'm not going to blatantly talk her into believe in god, but i want to generate something in her where she thinks for herself. telling her flatly that god doesn't exist is too me just the same as telling a child flatly that jesus is lord.

i don't want to give my children atheism. i want to give them freethinking. then, their freethinking can guide them along the way.

well, enough journaling for now. better get some sleep.

my back hurts when i try to sleep at night. not as bad as before, but i toss and turn a bit.

and my back hurts in the chair at work. this wasn't always so. my chair used to be quite comfortable and seemed so ergonomic.

i'll take a goody powder. maybe that will help me sleep a bit better.

i'll save my whiskey for the weekend.